Blast from our Barbie Pasts

by Holyrood PR

Thursday, July 26th, 2012

Barbie 1

You may have seen our posts on Facebook and twitter, asking for the temporary donation of every girl’s favourite childhood companion/clothes horse – Barbie.


To facilitate an upcoming photo shoot we’ve been hunting high and low for as many of these limber ladies as we can find, and as a result everyone in the office (with the exception of Scott and Raymond – who staunchly deny her place in their development from boys to men) have been harking back to the first Barbie they ever owned.

My first Barbie came in a carriage, wore a pink dress, owned a horse and appeared under the Christmas tree when I was about 6. A hard act to follow – and as a result I only ever owned one other Barbie (she was given to me by a friend and as Barbie No.2 she was forever suffering great misfortune at the hands of Barbie No.1).

Victoria’s first Cindy superior was Super Talk Barbie. On looking her up online it is easy to imagine this grinningly vapid vixen appearing in an episode of my Big Fat Gypsy Wedding. Sporting a denim and lace skirt that barely covers her bum cheeks, it requires no effort to visualise her bumping and grinding along to Tinie Tempah at the nuptials of a meringue clad tangerine.

But in all fairness, at least Super Talk wears a skirt. Gaynor’s Sparkle Beach Barbie looks like a less muscular version of Jodie March gearing up for a page three photo shoot. Clad in only a bikini she also appears to have a less than friendly relationship with her hairdresser; who obviously never got the memo about there being such a thing as too much backcombing, too many extensions and too much peroxide (like a large number of the young women out on George of a Friday night).

I was fully prepared for Amy to say she had never owned a Barbie. Partly because pink sparkly anything seems incongruous with Amy’s sense of style, but also because no Barbie ever had more than one piercing in each ear. As she can’t remember which one she had first I am going to say it was the first ever Punk Barbie. Because they sound cool. I don’t think such a Barbie was ever produced by Mattel, but go onto online Barbie blogs and you will find a whole range of customised punk Barbies doing all sorts.

And finally Laura. Laura also can’t remember her first Barbie, but she does remember the Ferrari and camper van accessories she collected alongside it. Far more important than the Barbie itself, these add-ons were unparalleled status symbols – no matter which Barbie you had, if she couldn’t take a stylish vehicle out for a spin, she was quite frankly just not worth knowing.

So, enough reminiscing for now, but stay tuned for more Barbie banter as our hoard grows and the office slowly become overrun with scantily clad, plastic pantied, miniature ladies.


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